Ifs

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you're not supposed to drink and drive,
then why do bars have parking lots?
Submitted by ~*Laura*~

If one synchronized swimmer drowns,
do the others drown also?
Submitted by AlleyCat2

If a cow laughs really hard will milk come out of its nose?
Submitted by Jeff Wojciechowski

If you have moderation in all things... wouldn't you have
excessive moderation?
Submitted by Ed Wunder

If you tore the wings off of a Fly. . .
Would you call it a "Walk"?
Submitted by Enos Lyles

If a man with multiple personalities threatens to committ
suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Submitted by StkInSA

If a man is in the middle of the woods,
and no women are around is he still wrong?
Submitted by Darren Maley

If barbie is so popular then why do we have to keep
buying her friends?
Submitted by Hotrngirl2

If a man is bald and gets his license,
what color hair does he put down?
Submitted by Brigette Henson

Why?

Can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance?

Do people order double cheese
burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke?

Do banks leave both doors open and
then chain the pens to the counters?

Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes
in the garage?

Do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place?

Do we buy hot dogs in packages of
ten and buns in packages of eight?

Why do they call it a GUBERNATORIAL race. . .
When nobody wants to be "GUBERNOR"?
Submitted by Enos Lyles

Why do they call it GUM. . .
When you CHEW it?
Submitted by Enos Lyles

Why is it called a pair of jeans if you only buy 1?
Submitted by Rescue Bob

If babies are so cute,
why are there so many ugly people in the world?